Louie Gohmert Enters Race for Attorney General
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R) entered the race for Texas Attorney General Monday. "I am running for Attorney General to restore the rule of law in Texas." he said, as he held up a small Bible. "This is the law of the land in Texas, and I will enforce it." Of note, the Bible he held up was a small picture book widely disseminated in Republican circles which had all the big words taken out, such as love, compassion, and Jesus.
He had previously announced that he would run for Attorney General if he could raise at least one million dollars during a ten day period leading up to his announcement. When asked how much money he raised he said "I don't know exactly- I've only got 10 fingers, and so I can't really count higher than that." It should also be noted that he has only about 10 teeth, as evidenced by an interview he gave 2 years ago during which one of his teeth fell out.
Also, Rep. Matt Krause announced that he was terminating his run for Attorney General. During his announcement he said "I just don't know how you compete with Gohmert in Texas. He's just so fucking stupid that he's just bound to be our next Attorney General. And he held up a picture Bible."
He will face up against Attorney General Ken Paxton, who said in response to Gohmert's announcement "I welcome the competition. I have been paid handsomely to run by Texas businesses and will continue to represent them in the Government. Sorry, I have to go now, I'm late for a date with my mistress. Don't tell my wife."
There are several other Republicans running in the primary but none of them are as mind numbingly stupid as Gohmert or Paxton and therefore do not have any chance of winning in the Republican primary.